At one point in my life, I had a handgun permit.
At another point later in my life, I was a patient at a mental health facility, undergoing treatment for suicidal ideation.
Lest you should think that I see a cause where there is only a correlation, rest assured that I don't think having a handgun permit caused me to have mental health issues.
But when a mass shooting occurs (as it just did in Texas), and we renew the national discourse (or rather, shouting match) about gun control and mental health, I find myself wanting to say something, but holding back because...well...I hate shouting matches.
So take this piece with humility with which it is offered. Take it as the reflection of someone who is willing to be vulnerable and personal about mental health, someone who has been there, as the saying goes, and would like it if we could calmly ponder what's best, not necessarily what fits our narratives.
Now, back to my story. At my mother's insistence, my immediate family all attended a gun permit class when I was in my early twenties, and we all received handgun permits. I never bought a gun, but other family members did.
Fast forward a few years. My perpetual struggle with depression is winning. I desperately want a way out. I start making plans to overdose on sleeping pills. By Divine grace, I end up getting help instead of committing suicide. I spent a week at a mental hospital and began what I suspect will be a life-long treatment of antidepressants.
That year, my gun permit expired. I never renewed it. And I never will.
Why? Because I know the horrors of a chemically-unbalanced mind. I'm not depressed now, but some unforseen life event could bring back the old struggle, and I know what dark and bloody thoughts I'm capable of. And I also know what a gun can do.
Here are a few facts that often go overlooked when we talk about gun control: the leading cause of gun deaths is suicide, not mass shootings. While more women attempt suicide than men, more men die from suicide. The main reason more men die from suicide is because men are more likely to attempt suicide with a gun, and suicide attempted with a gun is far more likely to be a successful attempt than suicide attempted with pills or other methods. Guns inflict instantaneous wounds, and unlike pills, extracting bullets from a victim after the fact doesn't do much good.
Kris Brown, co-president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence explained this succinctly:
"The reality that I have learned is that suicide is a rash act, and it's one that the vast majority of people who attempt it who don't succeed the first time actually never go on to commit again. That's why the introduction of guns is such a dangerous factor because very sadly, and as you know, 90 percent of the time an individual who attempts suicide by a gun is successful."
(You can read his full interview here).
So here's my proposal: pass laws and amend current ones to make it such that those of us who have been treated for suicidal ideation or suicide attempts cannot buy guns. There are plenty of other options for self-defense, should we feel we need them, and I'm quite sure a well regulated militia can still be formed without the aid of mental health patients.
It is a kindness to keep from obtaining lethal weapons those of us who have wrestled with the beast that is self-harm. This form of gun control won't stop every suicide committed with a gun. But it could stop some of them.
Amen !!
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